Hope

We have been voluntarily imprisoned in our home by this terrible disease called cancer. Four weeks ago my mom & dad moved in & hospice became a household name as we are caring for my 65 year old mother who is living out her final days with us. Because of the type of cancer she has we have to have eyes on her 24 hrs due to frequent vomiting.
So tonight, while watching her I looked out the window and saw a beautiful snowfall. I seized the moment, let Steve watch mom and ran outside with camera in hand. In the cool of the wintry night I snapped a few shots of our herbal garden under a blanket of fresh fallen snow and I was refreshed. Amidst the dead of winter, I breathed in the promise of the hope of spring as the ground received moisture to grow what was to come.
Oh God, my Father, in this winter of my life, give the promise of things to come, the hope of things that will grow from this dark time.

--Evelyn C. Sherwood

Resting

It would appear that Nell's medicines are finally reaching the goal. Tonight she is resting much more peacefully than she has been.

Evelyn was able to get out by herself for awhile earlier in the evening. She went to a place of prayer and returned somewhat refreshed.

Dad Steffes experienced Louies Coney Island for the first time yesterday evening. I'm not sure if that was refreshing or just dangerous. Oh, he didn't eat alone. We all three scarfed down hot dogs slathered in mustard, chili, onions and cheese. Yes, we had fries with that. None of us were moving real quick tonight.

All kinds of encouragement has come in from various sources.  Yesterday I received an email from our daughter's mother-in-law. In it she included a couple of quotes:

May today there be peace within.  May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.  May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.  May you be content knowing you are a child of God.  Let his presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.  It is there for each and every one of us.  (Saint Theresa)

Do not complain about thorns among the roses....Give thanks for roses among the thorns.

We all read this email and we wept a bit. It was just the encouragement we needed at the moment. It made me think of a message I preached not long on Peace. Col 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Two words, well actually the same word in both verses stands out. "Let." The Greek word in verse 15 means to rule and in verse 16 it is Greek for to inhabit. 

The idea is that God's peace is available to all of His children and that peace will rule on the throne of our lives if we will "let" it. The word of God will inhabit us if we "let" it.

How is this done? How do we lay down all the heavy load of life? How do we stop the financial pressures and the health issues from invading our every waking thought? Go to the Word. Stop. Take a breath, a deep, slow breath. Now remember this. Ps 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! Ps 46:11 The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah 

Now, "let" that thought invade your soul and mind. God is God, not you and certainly not me. Be still and know this truth. That God who is God is with us, that is present in whatever situation you find yourself in. He is there and He will be exalted. He will get glory out of your situation. He is your refuge, that is a place to go and hide and "let" His peace rule on the throne of your heart.

And know this: Ro 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 

Joh 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

My Friend, be at peace. Be at rest.

All Scriptures are from the New King James Translation.

Stumbling Blocks and Blessings

Stumbling Blocks

At Nell's request hospice tried increasing her medications so she would sleep most of the time. It worked for about 12 hours. Now she is awake more than she is asleep and her pain is increasing. She is agitated much of the time and she is hallucinating.

Tonight we dropped one of the medications, increased another and cried more. The crying just happens. The further changes in Medications is in the hopes of reaching the goal of Nell being peaceful.

Blessings

Some of our people have made sure we have food and have had to do very little cooking. Thank you. The food had been delicious... I'm not sure if it's the flavor or the love we are tasting. "Taste and see that the Lord is Good." (Ps 34:8a)

As I shared Nell's condition with the church tonight I saw tears in several eyes. "Weep with those who weep." (Rom 12:15b) Those tears are like hugs even though we are across the room from each other. They show you are listening and hearing our wounded hearts.

Lord willing, a lady will be following the Lord in baptism on this Sunday. Praise God!

Finally an Update.

Mom is scheduled for Thursday October 2 to have a port put in for her chemo.  She met with two of the doctors last Monday and they were quite encouraging.  They neither one believe she needs much, if any radiation.  

She still has the feeding tube, but is not using it for now.  They are leaving it in because they feel she may need it once they start the chemo.  

She is feeling stronger each day.  Today she even went for a short walk in her neighborhood.  

This is my first update since returning home from Michigan.  We have been playing catch up with things that needed done upon our return, and in preparation for Evelyn to go back up when Nell starts her chemo.  We have both dealt with physical issues we felt were attacks from the kingdom of darkness.  Each one has been short lived, and odd, for instance, last Saturday night I walked into the room off my office and just started to pray about the next day. When I breathed in to start my second sentence I inhaled a tiny moth right into my left lung. I coughed and hacked and choked for several minutes.  By the time I was able to catch my breath my throat was raw.  I managed to get through Sunday morning, but wound up sleeping most of Sunday afternoon and evening.  Though I'm better now, I still feel like there's something in my left lung.

I believe God is protecting us, and that Satan is looking for any and all openings to attack. God is bigger. We covet your prayers.  

Keeping that in mind. James 5:16 tells us to pray for one another.  It is imparative we live godly lives and give Satan no place in our lives.  It is also helpful to know that others are praying for us. Over the years I have dealt with depression. This week I spent two and a half days hearing, "What's the use? Why don't you end it now? You're not doing any good. No one is going to follow God." There were a lot of other things said as well.  I battled it with praise, songs and scripture all in the name of Christ. Finally in the middle of the third day it ceased.

God's goodness sustains in times of trial. This psalm reminds us of God's goodness.

Psa 86:1-17  A Prayer of David. Bow down Your ear, O LORD, hear me; For I am poor and needy.  (2)  Preserve my life, for I am holy; You are my God; Save Your servant who trusts in You!  (3)  Be merciful to me, O Lord, For I cry to You all day long.  (4)  Rejoice the soul of Your servant, For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.  (5)  For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.  (6)  Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; And attend to the voice of my supplications.  (7)  In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, For You will answer me.  (8)  Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord; Nor are there any works like Your works.  (9)  All nations whom You have made Shall come and worship before You, O Lord, And shall glorify Your name.  (10)  For You are great, and do wondrous things; You alone are God.  (11)  Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name.  (12)  I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And I will glorify Your name forevermore.  (13)  For great is Your mercy toward me, And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.  (14)  O God, the proud have risen against me, And a mob of violent men have sought my life, And have not set You before them.  (15)  But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.  (16)  Oh, turn to me, and have mercy on me! Give Your strength to Your servant, And save the son of Your maidservant.  (17)  Show me a sign for good, That those who hate me may see it and be ashamed, Because You, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.