Cancer, Sin

Tonight, Nell has been quite restless again. Ev and I told Dad to go to bed and we would take the whole night. He is so very tired.

At one point this evening, Ev leaned over and told her mom, "You won't be forgotten. I'm going to tell the grand babies what a wonderful lady you are and how much you love Jesus." Nell smiled.

Though she isn't even taking drinks of water now her body continues to produce bile which has no place to go but up. She cries out in pain and because she is no longer strong enough to help, one of us leans her forward while the other holds the bucket. The smell is atrocious. We lay her back and she cries out because her back hurts. She goes back to shallow breaths followed by an occasional deep one.

Oh the devastating effects of cancer. As I sat watching her tonight my mind turned to another cancer... sin. Rom 5:12  When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam's sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. (NLT)

Nell is in great pain when she is awake. The medicine keeps her asleep most of the time, but without it she became argumentative to the point of being unreasonable. In other words, she did not understand what we were telling her. She couldn't understand why she couldn't get up and walk or why we wouldn't give her food, even though she would throw up water.

Sin does that to us. It dulls our senses. Mat 13:14  This fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah that says, 'When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend. 

Mat 13:15  For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes—so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to Me and let Me heal them.' (NLT)

And so I proclaim to us (that includes me)

Rom 13:11  This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 

Rom 13:12  The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. 

Rom 13:13  Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don't participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. 

Rom 13:14  Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don't let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires. 

Eph 5:12  It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. 

Eph 5:13  But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, 

Eph 5:14  for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, "Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light." 

Eph 5:15  So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. 

Eph 5:16  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 

Eph 5:17  Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 

Eph 5:18  Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 

Eph 5:19  singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 

Eph 5:20  And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Eph 5:21  And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

Mom Steffes has lived a life before God and man that spoke of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. She was a preacher of righteousness to her children , verbally (Just ask Evelyn) and to others visually. And now as she lay dying and mostly unaware, she continues to proclaim His righteousness.

We mustn't end with Adam's sin spreading to all, for the story doesn't end there.

Rom 6:23  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Hallelujah!!!

And soon she will gasp one last time and her life here will cease only to begin without pain, vomiting or weariness in the presence of Jesus Christ.

2Co 5:6  So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. 

2Co 5:8  Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 

Soon, dear sweet Nell, soon.

Hope

We have been voluntarily imprisoned in our home by this terrible disease called cancer. Four weeks ago my mom & dad moved in & hospice became a household name as we are caring for my 65 year old mother who is living out her final days with us. Because of the type of cancer she has we have to have eyes on her 24 hrs due to frequent vomiting.
So tonight, while watching her I looked out the window and saw a beautiful snowfall. I seized the moment, let Steve watch mom and ran outside with camera in hand. In the cool of the wintry night I snapped a few shots of our herbal garden under a blanket of fresh fallen snow and I was refreshed. Amidst the dead of winter, I breathed in the promise of the hope of spring as the ground received moisture to grow what was to come.
Oh God, my Father, in this winter of my life, give the promise of things to come, the hope of things that will grow from this dark time.

--Evelyn C. Sherwood

Stumbling Blocks and Blessings

Stumbling Blocks

At Nell's request hospice tried increasing her medications so she would sleep most of the time. It worked for about 12 hours. Now she is awake more than she is asleep and her pain is increasing. She is agitated much of the time and she is hallucinating.

Tonight we dropped one of the medications, increased another and cried more. The crying just happens. The further changes in Medications is in the hopes of reaching the goal of Nell being peaceful.

Blessings

Some of our people have made sure we have food and have had to do very little cooking. Thank you. The food had been delicious... I'm not sure if it's the flavor or the love we are tasting. "Taste and see that the Lord is Good." (Ps 34:8a)

As I shared Nell's condition with the church tonight I saw tears in several eyes. "Weep with those who weep." (Rom 12:15b) Those tears are like hugs even though we are across the room from each other. They show you are listening and hearing our wounded hearts.

Lord willing, a lady will be following the Lord in baptism on this Sunday. Praise God!

Thankful

What I'm thankful for.

I am thankful for Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. And for His Word, the Holy Bible He has given to us, which is filled with many wonderful promises. And for His Holy Spirit with which He indwells, empowers and guides us. 

I am thankful for my wife and two wonderful children, and of course that marvelous bundle of joy He gave us through our son this year... Josiah, our grandson.

I am thankful for this Thanksgiving time we were able to spend with our daughter and favorite son-in-law. They came to Michigan to spend time with us and Evelyn's parents. 

Though Nell is in the hospital she is doing a bit better. Some of the complications have been figured out. She is still in need of exploratory surgery, but she is not vomiting all the time and she is able to rest. We are working on getting her transferred to Indianapolis. 

I am thankful that God brought Don & Linda Burris to Fairview Baptist this year. They are precious and have added much to our congregation.

I am thankful for the men who about to be installed as Elders at our church. I look forward to what God our Father will do through them.

God bless and keep you.

In His love,

Brother Steve Sherwood

Home at Last.

We just got home with Mom Steffes and got her settled in.  The nurses aid that brought her to the car told her she would miss her.  She said, "I could just come in and sit in your room all day." 

I just have to say it again... Having Gordon's van to bring Mom home in was such a blessing.  It was very easy for her to get in and out of, even in the rain.  

Mom is on a liquid diet along with the feeding tube at night.  The feeding tube will give her about half the calories she needs each day.  She has to get the rest through various liquids.  

Today's devotion was about gentleness.  It was such a blessing to watch the nurses and doctors who dealt gently with all of us.  And we had opportunities through out Mom's stay to talk with people who were hurting and gently share the love of Christ with them.

We rejoice in the gentlesness of our loving God who has dealt with us and our sin so kindly.  Psalm 32:2

Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. (NLT)

We are blessed.